High Fives and Handshakes
We have in our hands the “ordinary magic” needed to cultivate resilience. According to recent research from Ann Masten this ordinary magic is released when we build relationships, self-efficacy, and communities of belonging. Connecting in meaningful, even brief, ways can be pushed to the side as schools tackle academic agendas. However, taking a systems approach to positive social interactions ensures a consistent, cohesive school culture. When schools make skillful social interactions routine, they signal to staff, students, and families that “safe and supportive”, “nurturing”, “inclusion and belonging” aren’t simply words for a website.
At the heart of these positive, skillful interactions is the felt sense that you are seen, heard, and valued; that you matter. Focus on recognition, appreciation and just plain noticing can yield positive relationships, as well as individual and institutional resilience. According to a study by the HASS School of Business at UC Berkeley, people recognized for work were 23% more effective and productive. Recognition for accomplishments is often part of the evaluation embedded in schools, yet it may be disconnected from the type of feedback that promotes growth. Robust recognition is tied to frequent, precise praise, tied to individual or group goals.
Recognition is necessarily limited by finite performance and results. In contrast, demonstration of appreciation has no limits. When participants in the Hass study also felt appreciated and cared for, their productivity increased by more than 40%, and their desire to remain on the job also increased. Demonstrating appreciation for a student or colleague is reciprocal; Expressing gratitude increases happiness and connection for both the giver and receiver. Together, recognition and appreciation expand the opportunity to value staff and students.
While the Hass study reveals the power of recognition for the things we do and appreciation for who we are, researchers at the University of Colorado’s Center for Resilience and Well-being in Schools add to this dynamic duo by recommending simple “noticing”. Noticing may appear neutral compared to the praise and gratitude embedded in recognition and appreciation. However, simple social gestures like a smile, a wave or a nod signal “you matter.” Connection builds when we notice a habit or preference, something as simple as commenting on students’ enthusiasm for a local team or a colleague’s preference for early morning preps declare, “I see you.” One special form of noticing, using a person’s name, carries significance that belies its simplicity. Proper pronunciation of names is especially relevant to building positive relationships and creating a sense of belonging.
Systems-level work involving human interaction demands constant attention to authenticity; even the youngest students can sense a requirement versus an authentic exchange. Initially, the consistent, systematic practice of relational work may not feel natural as we build the skill and routine. The sense that it isn’t natural can be confused with inauthenticity. However, spontaneity isn’t the qualifying element for authenticity, the intention and ability to positively connect is the requirement for authenticity.
“Systems-level work involving human interaction demands constant attention to authenticity”
Like any systems work, systemic relational work takes planning. First, analyze what is currently working to create connection. For example, many schools rely on Responsive Classroom to guide relational morning meetings and threshold greetings. These routines are structures that support a predictable, relational environment.
Next, look for the gaps. Who is left out? We need to let go of the idea that someone needs to be “perfect” before they hear recognitions and appreciations. Then, we should look at times of day or year when these connections are sparse or absent. Often this aligns with high-pressure, time-tight times for teams or higher disruption of learning. Some schools have instituted gratitude shares at the beginning of staff meetings to shift inevitable midafternoon slumps in energy.
After analysis of the state of the school, adapt a multi-prong approach that honors individual preferences for receiving recognition, inclusion of the entire community, time, and authenticity. Be sure to create routines so that well-intentioned work does not fall through the cracks during busy school days. Finally, celebrate a school that intentionally cultivates resilience with ordinary magic.
